Confessions of a mom with boys

Here are some of my confessions about being & becoming a mom to 2 boys

I have NEVER envisioned myself having 2 boys... NEVER. To know me is to know that I love everything girly. 

Sparkly anything

Zebra anything!

Dresses

Bows and headbands

Jewlery

Painted Toe nails

Newly dyed hair

PINK! 

Everything girly is what I love!

Now don't get me wrong I have ALWAYS wanted a little boy. And at that I always wanted to have a little boy first.

Which I did. 

And was SO over the moon excited about when we found out.

More excited then my husband who wanted a girl.

I have always wanted my kids to have  a Big Brother to protect them when I couldn't, so when the US tech told us Wesley was a boy... I couldn't stop smiling... I was SO happy!

Once I finally convinced Charlie that I just had to have another baby and he finally agreed (well some what lol) I just KNEW I would get my little girl...

Not quite.

Finding out Oliver was a boy... Well... not one of my most excited moments lol.

I couldn't really explain how I was feeling..

Disappointed?... No

Upset?... Not really

Confused?... Kinda? lol

Shocked?!... ABSOLUTELY!

I had of course given thought to him being... well a him lol. We even had a boy name picked out and No girl name. But did I really think it would happen?! NO WAY!

Honestly it took until he came out and seeing him and holding him and LOVING him for it to really sink in

I am a mommy to 2 BOYS! 

Dirty, smelly, snot faced BOYS! 

Yeah right. Not in my house. I'm already teaching them young... Mommy refuses to have nasty, dirty, greasy headed boys. 

Boys... Ok.

Dirty ones... Heck to tha no!

Now at the same time would I want all girls?! 

Once again HECK TO THA NO! 

Most definitely NOT! 

Most little girls I know... 

well they are bratty... having multiple brats... No thank you lol. 

And trust me I remember how I was as a teenager lol.

I love how sweet my little boys are (well Oliver so far at least)

One would be plenty.

But I don't want a girl just to dress up...

I want a daughter that I can be close to when she's older.

Because trust me I'm sure when she's a teen... she'd hate me lol

Honestly... I'm already afraid of the boys growing up... getting married... and not hearing from them.

I have an aunt who has 2 boys.

When I was pregnant with Oliver she's the one that put my next confession/fear in me

I was talking about how I want to be in every aspect of my kids lives and then when they have kids I want to be in their lives just as much.

She replies

"That's not how it goes when you have boys... They get married and their wife is close to her parents too... and even though you and your son were so close while he was growing up... all of a sudden its her parents they call first... her parents in the delivery room... and its her parents they spend the bulk of the holidays with."

And that seriously... Terrifies me.

I already know what kind of mom I am... and its not the kind that boys... who grow up to be men... and get married... well their wife... who will probably be close with her own mom... she's not going to appreciate 

the kind of mom I am.

I'm the mom that even though I'm the disciplinarian... Wesley still says "I know you love me mommy" 

I'm that mom that will want phone calls...

ALL THE TIME! 

I'm that mom that will be their BIGGEST fan... of anything that they do.

I'm that mom that wants to be the biggest and best part of my kids lives.

I'm that mom that wants to be included... In Everything!

The PTA mom

The mom that volunteers to chaperon and go on field trips  

The protective mom.

The mom that wants their friends to stay at OUR HOUSE because I don't want them out of my sight.

I'm the mom that stays up way too often... scared... no TERRIFIED that something will happen to me and my boys will grow up without me there...

That someone else will do it instead...

I'm that mom that wants to be the first to know

I'm the mom that desperately wants to be in the delivery room when both boys become fathers.

And I'll be that grandma too....

But!

I also know the kind of mom I'm NOT! 

I'm not the mom that is going to be taken advantage of.

Or disrespected.

I'm not the mom that will stand back and watch someone hurt one of my kids... and not have something to say about it

I refuse to "pretend"... unfortunately for those involved... if I don't like someone... well.. they're going to know..

But I'm also not that mom that doesn't know when to step back and let them handle their own lives.... I know my boundaries... as a mom

When someone asks my kids about their mom... I want them to smile and have a million different wonderful memories and stories of all the things we've done and all the times I was there for them... no matter what!

Now of course this may sound crazy to some... I mean they are only 3 & 1 month... 

But these are things that keep me up at night.

So its not that I never WANTED to be a mom of boys... I guess its just kind of scary....

My husband was talking about a guy who he use to work with that was drafted for WWII... & instantly I thought "O my gosh! if there is another draft we have 2 times the chance that one of our boys will be drafted!"

Seriously... Those are the things that go through my mind.

Seriously

I'm a self proclaimed worry wart. 

In all actuality all I can do is raise them to be great people.

Humble, honest and depended men.

All I can do is be their mom.

And that's what I intend to be.

The best mom they could have.

A mom to 2 boys...

At least for now ;)

A new direction

I've decided to change things up because honestly how much is Charlie ACTUALLY going to have to do with this whole thing? uuugghhh.... None lol if he's on the computer its to look at car stuff... that's it.

So now here's a new welcome...

Welcome to my life of snips and snails and puppy dog tails... That's what little boys are supposed to be made up of right?

I guess we'll have to see.

1 month already

Our sweet sweet little Oliver turned 1 month today and it's pretty bittersweet.

He is SUCH a good baby. Honestly Charlie and I NEVER thought we would get a baby that is even better then Wesley was. He sleeps up to 6hrs at a time at night (to Wesley's 3 on the dot!) and the rest of the day he just hangs out. He'll sleep in his crib which is a huge difference from Wesley who refused to from day one!

He HATES to be naked... I mean HATES it! Getting a diaper changed is like torture to him.

He is SUCH a mama's boys ALREADY!

If anyone else has he and he hears me talk he starts looking all over for me until they turn him towards me and then he just starts fussing for me. He will barely let mom hold him... he fusses the entire time.

Wesley seriously could not be more in love with him. He kisses him all day long and holds him everyday. If we go anywhere and anyone says anything to him he starts saying "I have a baby!" lol. And if we go to someone's house and we tell him we're leaving and someone else is holding Oliver he starts freaking out saying "Get my baby!!". He's very protective already and SO proud!

He has many nicknames already but mostly Olliepop & Monkey Boy :D

We love him SO much and already can't remember life without him. He really has added so much to our little family.

and going out in true Oliver style :D

Counting my blessings

And I'm counting by 2!

As if 1 amazing little boy wasn't blessing enough. I have now been blessed with 2 amazingly perfect little boys! And I could NOT be happier to be their mommy.

What are you looking at?!

No really...

Wes is DEFINITELY my child!

We went to the mall yesterday (after Wes' Dr appt).

We finally got to use our Sit and Stand stroller we got for the boys.

Well Charlie was pushing the boys and while in one of the stores these 2 ladies stopped as Charlie was going by and was basically watching him go by so that they could see Oliver.

(We had his shade the up and the shade thing on the stroller was blocking the majority of the rest of him)

So Wesley sees the ladies looking and stares back at them confused and finally says:

"What are you looking at?!?!"

Angrily and with LOTS of attitude!

Seriously if he were older it definitely would have included a word starting with "F" lol.

He was not happy about what was going on haha.

WHY COULDN'T I HAVE HEARD IT?!?!

I would have died right then and there of laughter!

BAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

But noooo Charlie got to hear it. He told me about it after we left the store and I just busted out in laughter.

I asked Wes if he had done what daddy said and he said

"YEAH!" with an angry look on his face

All I could said is

"HIGH FIVE DUDE!"

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I just love him!

And his sassy mouth when its directed at other's who actually deserve it hahah.

He is SO protective of his brother :)

Wes gets a shot!

So yesterday we took Wes to the Dr. for the 1st time in a looong time! It is so exciting to be able to say that since between the ages of 10months and 23months I felt like I was there CONSTANTLY thanks to daycare.

Anyways he went for a SHOT!

Why did he need a shot?

Well he can thank Oliver :)

When we took Oliver back to have his Jaundice checked the Dr. said Wes needed to be vaccinated for the H1N1 since GA is currently #1 and NC #2 in outbreaks with SC not far behind at #4. Oliver is too young for the vaccine so the only way we can keep him safe is by all of us getting it. I don't usually get him the flu shot or whatnot because I've never gotten it (and I'm not convinced they actually do anything) but I know its super dangerous for Oliver to catch so I figured it was probably best.

So that afternoon when we got home I sat him down and told him the following week he was going to have to go to the Dr. to get a shot so that he wouldn't get sick and get baby Oliver sick and he simply said "Okay!"

So during the week he has known he was going to the Dr and yesterday was the day.

We got into the office and sit down where Wes notices a little girl with a nintendo and you can believe he was right there beside her. Her mom asked me if he was sick and I said

"No he's just here for a shot."

Seriously all the mom's in there gave me the same look my mom gave me when I said the word "shot" in front of Wes in front of her... I totally got the

"Is she crazy?"

look for 3 mom's in there lol. They just looked at me and I said

"O he knows what he's here for... He's excited!"

"Excited?"

"Well he knows he's getting it to keep his baby brother from getting sick so he's all for it... aanndd he knows he gets a sucker afterwards"

But really "excited" was the word he used... not me

We get called back... by the same nurse that called me back many a times when I was little... and Wes goes skipping in all happy lol. The nurse says:

"Someone is happy"

Then mumbles to me:

"But he might not be for long"

Once again I find myself saying

"O no he knows what he's here for. He's excited..." etc etc

She says:

"Really?!"

I say

"Yep! Thats what he said"

"Wes what are you here for?"

He puts his hand on his arm and says

"A shot in my arm!"

Well then the nurse promises stickers to go along with the sucker!

Me and the Wes man are sitting in the room and I am FREAKING out!!

I ask Wes if I can hold his hand and get

"no you can not hold my hand!"

Seriously?!

lol

The nurse comes in... grabs and holds his arm under her's and BAM! in it goes... and just as quick as it went in it came out...

Man she's fast.

And what is Wes' response?

"Ow??"

and with some attitude... like "ya'll didn't say it was going to hurt!" lol

He gets stickers and a sucker and was a happy boy showing off his band aid

Which was purple with some rainbows, flowers, hearts Etc lol

Of course the 1st question everyone asks him afterwards?

Did you cry??

Wes's response

"Ugh No? Duh?"

lol

I love that kid... He is definitely his mama's child lol

Becoming a family of 4!

Our sweet sweet Oliver Gage is finally here!

And this is how it all happened....

Tuesday 3/23 I went to my 38wk check up (I was 38wks 5days) and my blood pressure was up to 130/90 (it's usually 120/80) and I had been having some headaches and "floaters" so the Dr. said he wanted to go ahead and induce me... imagine our surprise when he said THAT DAY & we had to go straight there because it was already 3:30pm. I was SO ready to get it over with but boy did the nerves kick in as he was calling the OB nurses to let them know I was coming.

Charlie drove me over to the hospital and I had to say bye to Wesley (he went to every Dr. appt). I had NO idea how hard that would be. I couldn't even talk because every time I started to I started bawling crying and poor Wes had no idea what was going on lol. Finally I got out that mommy was going into the hospital to have his baby brother and that tomorrow he was going to be able to see and hold him finally and his response "Yeah ok mommy Bye" lol (He was in one of his moods). So I went in and Charlie took him home and went to get the bags we had JUST gotten ready the night before.

I registered and finally went up to my delivery room where I was SUPER nervous and antsy and excited all at the same time. I mean I had been waiting almost 9 months for this... 9 months of morning sickness, pelvic pain, depression and just plain yuckyness was finally going to be over!! It was a bit overwhelming really.

Charlie brought me my stuff and got me all set up with Jolly Ranchers, my phone and Ninetendo DS while he went to work for the night and of course while he was gone the nurses came to put in my IV and could not find my vein. The 1st nurse actually went through the vein in my right hand... leaving a nice bruise and all kinds of pain the 2nd nurse stuck me another 3 times (with an 18gauge needle) before finally getting in on the 4th try.... I looked like I have been stung by bees. So naturally I'm thinking "O my gosh this is going to be a long stay" But thankfully that was the worse of it. Then they put in the cervadil. After that was done I did a lot of searching the web on my phone and playing sudoku on the Ninetendo while I waited for Charlie to get off and keep me company.

Once Charlie got there is was tired and pretty much just went to sleep. I on the other hand... all hooked up to monitors... could not sleep... The baby was moving ALL OVER THE PLACE and would not stay on the monitors so the nurses were in there at least every 30mins to put him back on. (Charlie slept through all the noise and in and out visits and the nurses and I giggling at him... at one point the baby had hiccups which were SUPER loud on the monitor and even that didn't phase him) The nurse told me after I had gotten to at least 1cm Dr. Spielvogel would put an internal monitor in and I'd finally be able to move around but he wasn't going to be there until around 8am. Around 2:30 I started having some contractions which kept me just uncomfortable enough that I really couldn't sleep. I was just counting down the minutes until 4am when they were going to take out the cervadil and I'd be able to take a shower. O my gosh the thought of a shower up against my back sounded amazing! But with the contractions the baby's heart beat started speeding up and he was not handling them very well and we all (as in me and the nurses... Charlie is still knocked out) started to get worried because if they couldn't get it down it wasn't going to be good. They pumped me up with LOTS of fluids through my IV and it finally settled down to normal. Then they were thinking he was breech b/c he was so high up so they did a quick ultrasound just to see if he was head down which thankfully he was. By then the nurse and I had both threatened to spank him when he comes out for being such a butt butt. Finally 4am came and they took it out and monitored me for 30mins and I got to take my shower! It was AMAZING! At 5-5:30am they started my pitocin and I was not looking forward to what that was about to bring. At 6:30am Dr. Speilvogel came in for another patient and stopped by to check me and insert the monitor... No one happened to mention that this was going to HURT! Really bad!! I mean can't they warn a girl?! Inserting the monitor meant breaking my water at the same time so that's when that happened too.

After my water had been broken there was lots of pain involved lol. My contractions weren't being monitored by the external monitor so around 10-10:30am Dr. Spielvogel came back over and I was dilated enough for him to insert an internal monitor for that too (I was a 3-4) and that hurt maybe even worse because I was in the middle of a contraction during it! I was in SO much pain but wanted to make sure I didn't get an epidural too soon and then it wear off before it was time to have him.. I had only been in labor a few hours and was thinking it was going to be another long one like Wes' (21hrs) but Dr. S said its never really too early when you're being induced so I told the nurse to give them a call. I hadn't gotten up since my water had been broken and when I finally did after the 2nd monitor was inserted... what a mess! I wasn't expecting a whole lot of water but apparently he had a good bit in there... Meanwhile Charlie has slept through all of this going on and by now I was in LOTS of pain and decided to wake him up for some moral support and to take off my socks which had gotten soaked during my potty break. He didn't even remember getting up to help me dry my legs after my 4:30 shower... I wish I could sleep as good as he does lol.

By time my epidural got there I was in SO much pain! My mom keeps saying how surprised she is I didn't curse or anything lol. I did say a few Sh**s and O MY GOD's!! lol But other then that I just do a lot of breathing and moaning and want it VERY quiet around me. My mom at one point came over and asked if I wanted a wash cloth and I just put my hand up like don't even think about it lol and then later Charlie had fallen back asleep and after my contraction was over looked back at him and called his name to wake him up and he said "What?" and I said "Wake up! I am so sick of hearing you snoring while I am in pain!!" lol He stayed up the rest of the time. During my epidural I was having the biggest most painful contractions yet and I was having to sit on a rolled up towel and those monitors and it was beyond painful! O my gosh I was literally crying during the epidural which is so not me lol. I was sitting there telling myself in between contractions that I was such a wimp for crying haha. The nurse was so great and kept talking to me about how I was going to feel so much better.. yaddah yaddah which really wasn't helping until she leaned forward and said "I like your freckles" BAHAHAHAHAH I was SO confused I couldn't even focus on the pain anymore lol. I just sat there thinking "my freckles? really?" lol I had actually just noticed a couple days before that they were really prominent which they usually aren't until summer. Once my epidural was in I was still feeling pain on my left side which was starting to worry me because the Dr. had just told me that one side of your body can go numb while the other doesn't and I was laying there thinking "GREAT! of course that would happen to me" but that problem was solved by rolling over towards that side and the meds kicked in. They checked me and I was 5cm! They cranked up the pitocin but the baby's heartbeat started to slow down so they gave me some oxygen which got it back up and then they cranked it back up.

I was laying in my bed just thinking how nice it was to FINALLY not be in pain. I laid my head back thinking "man it is SO nice to just lay here" when all of a sudden it was like I could feel my contractions again. I laid there thinking to myself "is this what they mean when they say are you feeling pressure? Is this pressure I'm feeling?" I let one contraction go by without saying anything. Then the 2nd one came and I said something to my mom and Charlie. I gave it one more and said "O no I need to call the nurse" She came in and checked me and I was expecting at the most for her to say I was 8cm... but no.. she looked up and said "Yep his head is right there" my mom said "What? How far along is she?" and the nurse said "10" and pretty much RAN out of the room while saying she was going to call Dr. Speilvogel and write up everything. Next thing I know it's 1:00pm and Dr. Speilvogel is in there getting all ready and setting me up... 2 students also came in and the nursery nurse as well as my nurse. A contraction came and they told me to push and I did. After 3 pushes mom said she could see his head and I asked if she was bald... She had a surprised look on her face and said "NO!" The baby's heart beat started to drop and Dr. S said he may have to use forceps and I was not so happy about that. He was telling me how comfortable he feels using them and what not but I did NOT want that. Then he started talking about how that's just how boys do lol. They make things difficult. and I said "Hey now! My Wesley is an Angel!" and he started having a conversation with the nurse about how smart Wesley is. He said "Now that's true! She has the smartest little boy ever!" and was telling the nurse all about stuff he says at the office! The baby's heart beat slowed back down and another contraction came... I pushed 2 more times then 1/2 pushed 1 more time and out he came!! Dr. S started talking junk to him and so he decided to pee all over him!! hahaha it was hilarious! I just looked at him and said "mmhmmm that's what you get!" lol He then peed on the nursery table lol.

Oliver Gage was born at 1:08pm on March 24, 2010 weighing 6lbs 3oz and was 19in long. Absolutely perfect, healthy and SO handsome. We were so blessed to just have 1 amazing little boy and now to have 2 is an even bigger blessing. We could not be more proud and feel more privileged to be called mommy and daddy by these 2 boys.