Here are some of my confessions about being & becoming a mom to 2 boys
I have NEVER envisioned myself having 2 boys... NEVER. To know me is to know that I love everything girly.
Sparkly anything
Zebra anything!
Dresses
Bows and headbands
Jewlery
Painted Toe nails
Newly dyed hair
PINK!
Everything girly is what I love!
Now don't get me wrong I have ALWAYS wanted a little boy. And at that I always wanted to have a little boy first.
Which I did.
And was SO over the moon excited about when we found out.
More excited then my husband who wanted a girl.
I have always wanted my kids to have a Big Brother to protect them when I couldn't, so when the US tech told us Wesley was a boy... I couldn't stop smiling... I was SO happy!
Once I finally convinced Charlie that I just had to have another baby and he finally agreed (well some what lol) I just KNEW I would get my little girl...
Not quite.
Finding out Oliver was a boy... Well... not one of my most excited moments lol.
I couldn't really explain how I was feeling..
Disappointed?... No
Upset?... Not really
Confused?... Kinda? lol
Shocked?!... ABSOLUTELY!
I had of course given thought to him being... well a him lol. We even had a boy name picked out and No girl name. But did I really think it would happen?! NO WAY!
Honestly it took until he came out and seeing him and holding him and LOVING him for it to really sink in
I am a mommy to 2 BOYS!
Dirty, smelly, snot faced BOYS!
Yeah right. Not in my house. I'm already teaching them young... Mommy refuses to have nasty, dirty, greasy headed boys.
Boys... Ok.
Dirty ones... Heck to tha no!
Now at the same time would I want all girls?!
Once again HECK TO THA NO!
Most definitely NOT!
Most little girls I know...
well they are bratty... having multiple brats... No thank you lol.
And trust me I remember how I was as a teenager lol.
I love how sweet my little boys are (well Oliver so far at least)
One would be plenty.
But I don't want a girl just to dress up...
I want a daughter that I can be close to when she's older.
Because trust me I'm sure when she's a teen... she'd hate me lol
Honestly... I'm already afraid of the boys growing up... getting married... and not hearing from them.
I have an aunt who has 2 boys.
When I was pregnant with Oliver she's the one that put my next confession/fear in me
I was talking about how I want to be in every aspect of my kids lives and then when they have kids I want to be in their lives just as much.
She replies
"That's not how it goes when you have boys... They get married and their wife is close to her parents too... and even though you and your son were so close while he was growing up... all of a sudden its her parents they call first... her parents in the delivery room... and its her parents they spend the bulk of the holidays with."
And that seriously... Terrifies me.
I already know what kind of mom I am... and its not the kind that boys... who grow up to be men... and get married... well their wife... who will probably be close with her own mom... she's not going to appreciate
the kind of mom I am.
I'm the mom that even though I'm the disciplinarian... Wesley still says "I know you love me mommy"
I'm that mom that will want phone calls...
ALL THE TIME!
I'm that mom that will be their BIGGEST fan... of anything that they do.
I'm that mom that wants to be the biggest and best part of my kids lives.
I'm that mom that wants to be included... In Everything!
The PTA mom
The mom that volunteers to chaperon and go on field trips
The protective mom.
The mom that wants their friends to stay at OUR HOUSE because I don't want them out of my sight.
I'm the mom that stays up way too often... scared... no TERRIFIED that something will happen to me and my boys will grow up without me there...
That someone else will do it instead...
I'm that mom that wants to be the first to know
I'm the mom that desperately wants to be in the delivery room when both boys become fathers.
And I'll be that grandma too....
But!
I also know the kind of mom I'm NOT!
I'm not the mom that is going to be taken advantage of.
Or disrespected.
I'm not the mom that will stand back and watch someone hurt one of my kids... and not have something to say about it
I refuse to "pretend"... unfortunately for those involved... if I don't like someone... well.. they're going to know..
But I'm also not that mom that doesn't know when to step back and let them handle their own lives.... I know my boundaries... as a mom
When someone asks my kids about their mom... I want them to smile and have a million different wonderful memories and stories of all the things we've done and all the times I was there for them... no matter what!
Now of course this may sound crazy to some... I mean they are only 3 & 1 month...
But these are things that keep me up at night.
So its not that I never WANTED to be a mom of boys... I guess its just kind of scary....
My husband was talking about a guy who he use to work with that was drafted for WWII... & instantly I thought "O my gosh! if there is another draft we have 2 times the chance that one of our boys will be drafted!"
Seriously... Those are the things that go through my mind.
Seriously
I'm a self proclaimed worry wart.
In all actuality all I can do is raise them to be great people.
Humble, honest and depended men.
All I can do is be their mom.
And that's what I intend to be.
The best mom they could have.
A mom to 2 boys...
At least for now ;)
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